help me. 

you know, each day I think things get better. but

then at night I feel it in my bones, in my mind and in

my soul. I don’t know what’s wrong. 

is it me? is it something I did? is it something I said? 

is it something I didn’t? 

I’m lonely and aching for company –

but it feels like no one aches for mine. how do I fix this?

the only thing I want to do is paint red stains on my skin

that will turn into beautiful lines 

that will never fade. but

they’re not beautiful. they make me sad every day.

and it’s a battle to not make more but I don’t know what else to do. 

how do you keep on going when it feels like no one is rooting for you?

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the bridge 

I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. my eyes are heavy

with unshed tears. wrists

covered in ink because

I don’t have the energy

to break up a razor. I’m FAILING 

a class and I can’t

make myself get my shit 

together. I keep thinking

about that bridge – 

out there in the distance with

the one flickering light 

shining on the marks

where my hands once pressed down,

sweating in anticipation

before jumping. 

that bridge exists somewhere. 

right now it’s in the back of

my mind, and I worry

that one day I’ll find it, and no 

one will notice until it’s 

too late.