help me. 

you know, each day I think things get better. but

then at night I feel it in my bones, in my mind and in

my soul. I don’t know what’s wrong. 

is it me? is it something I did? is it something I said? 

is it something I didn’t? 

I’m lonely and aching for company –

but it feels like no one aches for mine. how do I fix this?

the only thing I want to do is paint red stains on my skin

that will turn into beautiful lines 

that will never fade. but

they’re not beautiful. they make me sad every day.

and it’s a battle to not make more but I don’t know what else to do. 

how do you keep on going when it feels like no one is rooting for you?

the bridge 

I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. my eyes are heavy

with unshed tears. wrists

covered in ink because

I don’t have the energy

to break up a razor. I’m FAILING 

a class and I can’t

make myself get my shit 

together. I keep thinking

about that bridge – 

out there in the distance with

the one flickering light 

shining on the marks

where my hands once pressed down,

sweating in anticipation

before jumping. 

that bridge exists somewhere. 

right now it’s in the back of

my mind, and I worry

that one day I’ll find it, and no 

one will notice until it’s 

too late. 

Daily Prompt: Ostentatious

I never thought anyone –
especially the likes of you –
would catch my attention so quickly.
you walked by with such an air of
confidence. so much
arrogance.
and I’ve always found myself
turned off by these
mannerisms,
but not by you.
you walk like you own
the place – and that’s
not just a matter of speech.
you hold yourself above others,
yet I know you to be so
kindhearted.
your ostentaciousness
attracts me,
fools others,
hides your true self.
you don’t want to please or
impress others.
you want to feel good about
yourself.
that’s a feeling I know
way too well.
so walk like a god around me.
maybe I’ll make you feel a
little more human.

 

via Daily Prompt: Ostentatious

Daily Prompt: Transformation

some days,
it’s hard to think
about where I’ve been.
other days,
it’s all I can do to
keep the memories
from coming to
my mind.
but all days,
I remember the
transformation
I made. from young,
to slightly older,
weak to strong,
pained,
to surviving.
and thriving.
it’s not easy to
remember that,
just as it’s not easy
to forget what made me
feel so small and
insignificant
in the first place.
but I remind myself
daily –
I am not
falling apart.
I am not
going to let
them win.
I am not
someone who can
be walked over,
stepped on and
beaten down.
I am strong.
I am real.
I am thriving.
this transformation,
it wasn’t easy.
and I continue
it every day.
but I’m making it.
and damn
does it feel good.

 

via Daily Prompt: Transformation