i’m sitting here and i’m reading this book and
i’m trying not to think about you but it’s not working.
kelsey sprained her ankle and
she has a check up today so i only
have about twenty more minutes to
i think i want curry for dinner
but i also want to look at your smile and
i can’t very well focus on my food while
i’m staring into the ocean
now can i?
it’s only tuesday
the sun is high in the sky
and somewhere in the lines of
reading these stories
i lost track of the words and replayed
your image in my mind.
ten more minutes
maybe i can focus for a little bit longer
maybe i can control my mind
but then again maybe i can’t
as i think about that song you played –
what was it? oh yeah,
smile by mikky ekko – that one time
in your car as we
drove down the 5 on the way to my
mom’s house for dinner
tchaikovsky is playing through my headphones
and i can usually focus on
my reading with the cello in the
background but today it isn’t
i’m picking at the thread coming loose
on this chair.
the sun is shining through the window at
just the right angle so there’s a beam
in my eye and it’s distracting –
i’m reading this book.
with your crooked smile and soft skin.
my phone vibrates in my pocket
and i set this book aside
to read the message on my screen –
tyler says he wants to meet for dinner tonight.
he reminds me of van gogh in the way that
he looks at the world but
he’s not missing an ear.
i put my phone away
and i try to focus on the words
on the page blurring past my eyes